Spring has truly sprung!

This must be one of the best springtime experiences we have had in England for many many years. Extensive sunshine and the blossom on the trees, has been the fullest I can recall. And what a joy it was to take our four grandchildren to Ness Botanic Gardens on the Wirral (North West England). They had an amazing time frolicking in the blossom, and it was just as much fun for us watching!

David Miskimin

It also reminded me about the importance of looking forward rather than backwards. We can’t change the past, yet we can eagerly anticipate the future, especially if we believe we can influence it by what we do in the present.

In The Coaching Parent book we refer to how easy it is to integrate this thinking into coaching. One of the great things with coaching is to create an atmosphere of future expectation. It’s done with the simple statement:

“What are you most looking forward to about tomorrow.”

It presupposes a number of things:
• That you are looking forward to something.
• That you are looking forward to more than one thing.
• That the future will indeed be positive.

And even though you may not have thought of something, the statement forces you to comment on the fact that there will be something you can look forward to. So – a very powerful question.

How about asking your family the same question…?

David Miskimin

If you watch television, you will not fail to have noticed that today’s women are obsessed with how they look, how often they can flick their hair, how high the heels are on their shoes and if they can master about six poses and pouts modelled by Posh Spice and Cheryl Cole.

Indeed do not these two represent the highest pinnacle of acheivement?

And if you get fed up with Cheryl Cole’s face on every vertical urban space, there’s always Lady Gaga, Rihanna and Beyonce.  

 The time is ripe for mothers everywhere to become real role models for daughters. Compassion, kindness, inner strength, resilience, serving others, honesty, down-to-earth, intelligence, grace, patience, humility, love…

Or self-obsession, avarice, greed, falseness and talentless irrelevance?

These may be the rantings of a grumpy old man. But who would you like your girls to emulate…?

Whilst no-one should underestimate the corrupting and corrosive power of the media in all its forms, mothers are the unsung heroes of the next generation. Please use your influence wisely.   

Jack Stewart

We live in a world of deliberate confusion. One media source will tell you a substance/product/food/activity is good for kids, another the opposite. This is another reason to be consistent yourself.

Greece is in the news at the moment, and it is accompanied by xenophobic rants about Greeks not paying tax. If you had any time to spare, you would discover through research that people who run the planet don’t pay any tax either. Except we are not talking about a few euros, we are talking billions. 

Much of this is hidden from the public. But be under no illusion. By setting the best example you can, you can put off or deny for ever the day your child is weighed down by the deliberate confusion of the world. You can be the light in the darkness. And as you shine on your child, you will shine on everyone. And sometime soon, confusion and deceit will lift, and your child will be an even greater gift to you, your family and the world.

Jack Stewart.

You let go, you move on.

The only people who want you to spend the rest of your life feeling guilty are doing the same to themselves.

There is nothing of value in continuously beating yourself up. When did any creative solution ever emerge from doom & gloom?

Look around. What are the kids like whose parents are always beating themslves up?  Good role models?

Shut down the scapegoat factory, forgive yourself. Set the best example.

Jack Stewart

That’s Just the Way It Is

Some things will never change

That’s Just the Way It Is

But don’t you believe them….

 When I was young, long before 1986, my parents let me have a lot of freedom compared to today’s kids. Like every other kid, I made mistakes, got into scrapes, broke the odd bone, and acquired the odd trauma and beliefs I would need in later life to release.

 Did you know that the number of passengers using UK airport terminals rose to 241 million in 2007. This compares to 7 million in 1957.

 Have you ever had an X-Ray? Doesn’t the radiologist stand behind a screen to protect themselves from the rays? What does that suggest to you?

My local airport has introduced ‘scanners’. They use X-rays. The operator stands behind a screen. To protect your privacy? To protect themselves from the X-rays perhaps? Not everyone has to go through them. But if you are spotted travelling whilst Asian, look a bit shifty, or are anxious at airports, you might have to be ‘screened.’ It’s your choice of course, but if you refuse, you won’t be able to fly.

Our generation, and our children’s generation, are on the brink of leaving an irreversible legacy for the next generation. We are a nation of suspects.

Does your child, or grandchild, need a tag or chip to protect them from the invisible army of ‘bogey men’? Why bother with a cumbersome tag, why not have your baby ‘chipped’ from birth. S/he won’t need the X-rays, can avoid the long queues and be continuously monitored by ‘the authorities’ if they fit the profile.

 Remember Tony Blair? Whether you agree with him or not, he told lies. Don’t all governments tell lies?

 Some things will never change. That’s Just the Way It Is.

Will you let your child believe them?

Jack Stewart

After the talk, our hosts took us to a Greek restaurant, and we listened to a couple of Greeks singing traditional songs and playing [wonderfully] guitar and bouzouki. Our hosts, and most of the diners, got up and did their versions of Greek dances. Fabulous.

Elsewhere in the city, we saw the creeping, toxic effect of a universal culture. Teenagers eating fast ‘food’, clothed like American college students, and adopting ‘cool’ [arrogant, zombied, brain-dead] expressions.

Every culture has its good points. For reasons too long to go into, Greek culture is one I adore. There are many aspects of British culture I like. Ditto Russian, Asian, Native American and Irish culture. Contemporary, commercial US culture, that which saturates the media and every aspect of our waking lives, has no tradition, no roots, no substance. It is manufactured, corrosive and has a dangerous agenda.

 As a parent, what can you do? Ban or sensor fast food, [c] rap, gum, violence, ‘celebrity’, vacant expressions and Hannah Montana? We all know this is the quickest route to turn kids on to it.

 How about embracing what’s good about all cultures? Multi-culturalism has become a cliché, a mantra. The best of it can inspire and educate, the worst of it, divide.

 You cannot escape the creeping paralysis induced by all this by switching off the television, or not reading papers. It is in your supermarket, in your trolley, on the street, in your kid’s heads, and on most people’s lips.

 I no more want a Billy Burger ‘joint’ at the Taj Mahal, the Parthenon, the Arc de Triomphe, Stonehenge or the Giant’s Causeway than I do the aspartame, MSG, fat, sugar and salt in our kids’ bodies. Or the images of ultra-violence, or lyrics of some phobic song in their heads.

How is reality created in your child’s mind? I think you know. What will you do about it? Because they are worth it.

 Jack Stewart